As I was doing some wallpaper repair work in the kitchen this afternoon, I couldn’t help but think of a moment with my Mom that gets more precious with every passing year, especially now that she is in heaven. It was a Saturday afternoon in October of 1972, only 6 months or so after Dennis had passed. We were all hurting and Mom was the glue that kept us together. Even before this incident, Mom and I had a shared passion and history of doing lots of projects around the house, something I am super grateful for all these years later. She taught me how to do my laundry when I was only 9 years old and I had to take care of Matt and Mary Claire after school days so she could work at the hospital until 5pm. We shared a love of anything that involved furniture, interior decorating, and especially wallpapering. Her Mom — my Grammy Alice — taught her how to hang paper so Mom wanted to teach me as well. Mom taught me so well that a good part of my living expenses at Fordham were funded by all the wallpapering and painting jobs I did on weekends for Richie Solch who had a great business back then.
Anyway, basketball practice had not yet started at PC so Mom asked me to help her hang new wallpaper in our dining room, Mom’s favorite room and the place where lots of life takes place gathered around the table for a meal prepared by my Dad, the greatest chef I ever met. Mom was trying to move forward as best she could but none of us had a map or a handbook on how to do that back then as support groups were not yet in vogue. It was such a great moment as we reached the end of that day as Mom and I finished the job and proudly looked at the new wallpaper in the room congratulating ourselves on a job well done. For most wallpaper jobs, that would be the end of the story.
No, this story took an unexpected but hilarious turn. When Mom, Matty, and I got up the next morning for Mass, we came down the stairs like we always did but to our surprise as we turned the corner from our living room into the dining room all the new wallpaper had fallen off the walls and was just curled up on the floor. As disappointed as we were, Mom just broke out in laughter and for me it was a sign from God that as painful as it is for a mother to lose a child, Mom was going to be ok. I can vividly remember thinking to myself “hey, if Mom can laugh again, maybe I can too.”
Years later Mom and I loved retelling that story. It was a moment of connection, of healing, of grace, and yes determination that even though the trajectory of each of our lives had changed dramatically, we could find a way to move forward by bringing our love for Dennis forward with us in our present lives, something I understood much better when Mom and I became parents and you do everything possible to protect your children.
I miss my Mom every day, more so in these last couple of years than after she first passed. We had so many great conversations throughout my 65 years as her son and with all of the things I like to do around the house, there was no better person than my Mom to bounce an idea off of. Right now I can see her wallpapering a room in heaven or just holding court with those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. Love you and miss you Mom and thanks for everything you gave me in this life, especially the gift of faith, Jackie
PS — Mom, I’ll text you if the wallpaper repair worked or not!
