“The only way out is through”. An excerpt from the Robert Frost poem “A Servant to Servants”
I think these past few weeks have been pretty stressful for each of us with the difficulties Mom has had to endure after her eye procedure. But I also sense that each of us is also facing some major transitional moment in life and/or career and that’s super stressful and anxiety provoking. Even though Mom’s recovery is progressing nicely, it has been incredibly stressful for her and for all of us because of the deep love we have for her. When I face a stressful moment, I’ll often say out loud to myself “how am I ever going to get through this?” and I am experiencing one of those stressful moments right now. For openers, many of my clients are dealing with very difficult transition issues due to the mess in Washington and its hard not to feel thir anxiety and pain in our sessions. My sister Cathy has significant health issues as the Parkinsons is beginning to severely limit her physical abilities. Mare has both MS and Parkinsons and things will only deteriorate from here. And Matty has had significant mobility issues as well but will thankfully be getting a replacement hip on June 4th. It’s hard not to carry on my own cross what others are carrying themselves all of that but I am human just like each of you.
In the Bereavement work I do, some of the stories people share with me just break your heart but none more so than what just happened last week when my cousin Kathryn lost her son at the all too early age of 35. Of all the trauma and grief one can feel in every day life, I don’t think there’s anything more challenging to work your way through than losing the child you love more than anything so unexpectedly and the wake and funeral service last Friday and Saturday for Kathryn’s son Ryan were heartbreaking for her, her daughter, her ex-husband, and all of Ryan’s friends and colleagues he worked with. They will need all of our support and prayers.
I’ve been reflecting of late on my own extensive history of loss and in working with others who experience loss. It comes up a lot not just in my Bereavement work but as a Coach and that quote above from the Robert Frost poem is a timely reminder to me and I hope to each of you that healing, resolution, and growth comes not by avoiding or denying the pain but by facing it head on and working through the pain in all of its manifestations. Somehow 35 years ago, God convinced me that my self prescribed way of dealing with any pain that I was carrying in my life as a 36 year old father of two daughters and a son by drinking too much beer wasn’t really helping me to heal. All it did was to help me deny what was going inside of me and make that cross I was carrying so much heavier than it needed to be. I now know 35 years later that there are so many other avenues in moving through pain that are far healthier than that extra beer or two and I am incredibly grateful to my faith for helping me work through that.
So forgive me today for wanting to share things with each of you that always seem to lift my spirits whether its a silly dint or joke, a photo from a bike ride, a piece of music, or as Tarah and Katie know those Instagram posts that just make you laugh hysterically as humor always turns me around. Today, my spirits were lifted by one of my old video productions that popped up on my Ipad this morning and so I just had to share it with all of you because it was a most happy day in my life and it reminded me that despite all of my rules about the backyard and to not rile up the dogs in the house, that all of our dogs really are a great gift in God’s creation and this clip brought that home for me today and put a big smile on my face. In short, it helped me move through what I have been feeling these last few weeks and I know I will continue to move through it because God is alwasy there to help.
So I hope you enjoy the clip and know that we all do better when we can share with one another all of life, not just the great moments but especially the challenging ones as well and to know that the Lord walks with us even when we don’t see his footsteps.
My love to all of you, Dad
