“Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship which struggles on in the survivor’s mind toward some resolution which it may never find.”
From the movie, I Never Sang for My Father, 1971
Its hard to believe that if you were still here, you would be celebrating your 74th birthday today. Instead, I find myself reflecting more and more on the fact that I have now lived 54 years without you — far longer than the 17 years we shared together as brothers.
And, yet with each passing year, there is a growing recognition that my grief journey has evolved. In those earlier years, I grieved deeply over the sheer shock of losing you and the deep sadness of your absence in my life. But as time has moved on, the journey of grief is now different. I now grieve all those moments we never had the chance to share together like college and graduate school, my wedding to Jean, the birth of my three children, my daughters wedding days, the joys of becoming a grandfather of 4, all the successes and yes setbacks of my career, and even those simple, little things like going to see the Mets play or just sharing everyday moments as brothers often do. I wonder as well about those questions that I’ll never be able to answer like would you have had a family? Where would you have lived and worked? Would we vacation together?
But as we know in the faith journey, there are many questions that we will not be able to answer in this life until God calls each of us home. So Dennis, I wish you a very Happy Heavenly 74th Birthday! While I mourn those seasons of this life we never got to share together, I am humbled and forever grateful for all the ways your memory continues to accompany me on my own life’s journey and I thank God for the seasons we did have and I look forward with hope to the day when we will be reunited in His eternal kingdom.
All my love, Jackie
So How About You?
Our grief calendars are all different, but none of us walks them alone.
* What date on your calendar carries special meaning?
* How has your relationship with grief changed over time?
* What person are you remembering with love today?
